Taking care of loved ones with dementia is emotionally draining on the best of days. The caregiver tries in vain to help that loved one with basic day-to-day recollection of events, place, space, and all things living as the loved one’s memory slips and their behavior changes. Dasha Kiper’s book Travelers to Unimaginable Lands: Stories of Dementia, the Caregiver, and the Human Brain examines not so much the loved one with dementia but the caregiver, specifically how the workings of the caregiver’s “healthier” brain prevents them from adapting to and understanding the loved one that is suffering from dementia.
Kiper highlights several stories of parents and children along with husbands and wives: A man believing his spouse is an impostor, a woman who has imaginary friendships, and a woman whose childhood trauma emerges to torment her son. These are all too common examples of dementia in various forms, not just Alzheimer’s Disease that many of us are more familiar with at a high level. Despite “knowing better” that one’s memory is suffering, all too often the caregiver will slip up and resort to confrontation and taking these symptoms personally. Kiper’s book showcases these struggles.
Travelers to Unimaginable Lands is thoughtful and insightful. Dementia not only directly impacts the individual suffering from it but it also produces downstream, indirect impacts on the people who care for and support the loved one. While Travelers does not answer the question “how do you easily fix that,” it does help the caregiver sense that they are not alone and that they can and should find support and solace with others who are going through the same situation.
MY RATING - 4
